Ice Cube, “Check Yo Self” (The Predator, 1993)
Believe it or not, those 22 Thank You’s DO come in handy. If you missed that blog, click here: https://cophiproductions.com/22-too-thank-yous-can-i-kick-it/
Kenz and I usually begin each show with three things that we’re thankful for, and I have found that this is good for me, because I actually look forward to sharing these things with you all, however big or small. I’ve even started sharing this routine with my younger cousin that lives in Boston, as he lives so far away and we don’t get to see one another often. This exchange of good vibes and energy fuels the rest of our conversations, both with Kenz and my cousin, and I look forward to keeping the positive energy flowing.
One day this week, I was having a not so good day, and a friend of mine called while I was on my way home; without even thinking, I immediately turned what was supposed to be a positive exchange of energy into a negative exchange of energy. That damned rabbit sadness hole was ah callin, and I answered as I left the office for the day, venting about my day and how shitty things are right now. I tried to pull my friend in with me, and she politely declined, as she attempted to remind me of the things I have to be thankful for. It wasn’t until we hung up that I realized how far left the conversation went. All she wanted was a little positivity, and there I was, raining on her parade.
I had to check myself.
Guys, sometimes we get into this habit of thinking that everyone around us should join us at the Pity Table and stay with us, whether they’ve had their fill or not. By we I mean me, lol, and anyone that can relate. NO ONE is obligated to sulk with you, nor should they have to endure you wallowing in your sorrows for more than a minute. Yes, it is OK to vent and get it all off of your chest, but when it goes on for too long, or when you become angry with the person that is allowing you to vent those frustrations, that is where one needs to check them self–especially when the person venting projects their anger onto the other person, like this:
PERSON VENTING: BLAH BLAH BLAH ZAE
LISTENER: Well, la la la …
PERSON VENTING: WHAT?!? THAT’S STUPID AND YOU’RE STUPID AND RA RA RA!
Nope. No maam. Aint nobody got time for that!
As I walked home and replayed the conversation, I felt like an asshole. Not only was my friend right to remind me of the blessings and the things that I have to be thankful for, she was also looking for the energy she needed to make her evening flow positively. I could hear it in my friend’s voice that she didn’t call me to hear me vent, nor did she need it, but I gave her that negative energy to her anyhow. What a jerk I was…I really tried it! I had to call her and apologize, and I did. I explained to her that regardless of my state of mind, my shitty day, my rabbit sadness hole or whatever was going on, that there was no need for me to talk to her the way I did. I am grateful that she was understanding–we don’t get those people in our lives often. A lot of times, all it takes is one blow up or fight for people to never speak to you again. Also, no one really wants to be around a miserable person–its emotionally draining (and mad annoying! Think of Sadness from the movie Inside Out!)
Y’all, the next time you’re frustrated about something, ask yourself these questions:
- WHY do I feel upset/frustrated?
- How did this come to be? Is said situation a direct cause of MY OWN actions?
- Am looking at this from a logical or emotional perspective?
- Is (the issue) worth being mad about in five minutes? A week? A month? A year?
- WHAT can I do about the issue?
While they may seem trivial, these are actually great questions to ask yourself. Will these questions come to your EVERY time you’re upset? Probably not, but it will be good to have these questions in the back of your mind for retrospective observation. If you find that you’re in a really shitty mood, you have all rights to disconnect from the world–turn the phone off or on do not disturb, get you something to lift your spirits, and get into a vibe that will soothe you! Whatever you do, do not be an asshole to other people.
Don’t be afraid to check yourself, and don’t be afraid to check others. We’re all entitled to bad days, but no one should have to endure those storms with us, or the repercussions of them. I try my best to remember that it only takes seconds to burn bridges and forever to rebuild them, so that I don’t say or react to something without thinking it through first. Again, this is easier said than done, but the more we walk it like we talk it and actively apply this method to our every day lives, the more I believe that it will flow with us.
“Ya better check yaself before ya wreck yaself…” cause bad energy is bad for your health.
Duly noted, Cube.
Peace,
April Bee
Great reflection, we all need to do that from time to time💜..Keep pushing through in your journey, its all gonna make sense soon💯💯